More random thoughts at the end of the year...

It's that time of year when we examine the year-gone-by. It would be easy to talk about the obvious changes and accomplishments of the year, but I need to talk about grief; that comes with both loss of loved ones and with change.

We lost a lot of family this year. My sister, who was strong and active and the ultimate caregiver, had given so much of herself that there was nothing left of her. Over the last few years, she had slowly starved herself to the point of physical breakdown, and not enough of us had realized how lost she was. Her birthday is coming up on Christmas day, and I really don't know how to celebrate her life at this moment. Our relationship was complicated, what with 15 years between us. We had become very close during the years our mom needed assistance, but when Phyl herself was in trouble, she pushed me away. She died February 16th, in hospice, at home.

More random thinking...

Change is hard. I'm missing some familiar faces and places. I found a manicurist; so far, so good - and yet, she's not Kim, who took care of me for 25 years. I watched her children grow up and have their own children. I made life-long friends of her other clients. Every other Saturday morning for over 20 years. It's a long time.

I miss the Mistress of Pain, Pilates instructor Debbie, who pushed me to physical strengths that I never imagined.

I miss my Wineaux - Shawn, Xochitl, Rico, Debra, Michelle, Barbara, Marya. It's strange to not just run out to meet Shawn for dinner.

I miss my Friday morning meetings at WW; hope Sandy and Sally find a good person to take my seat. Group therapy once a week in a safe, non-judgmental place is a good thing. Great leaders, too - Christy, Casey, Donna, et al.

Grateful for social media and email. And telephones.